I know it’s been a long while since my last newsletter. Life got in the way and self-doubt kicked in – Can I really do this? Am I good enough?
I followed those thoughts, lost courage and got very small indeed – once again!
Being small is such a comfortable state, nobody sees you, nobody asks anything of you apart from the day to day tasks – it’s a very safe place because you know it so well. But at the same time it’s the place where nothing ever happens, nothing ever changes.
Then, about six weeks ago someone said to me: Don’t you think it’s selfish to play small, keeping the gift you’re here to give just to yourself?!
Something wonderful happened there and then – I realised what I was doing!
It’s a very safe, but very lonely place, this place of self-doubt. Especially as nobody else can really overcome it for you – it is up to you to find the spark inside, the tiny bit of essence that can rekindle the connection with your soul, your passion and get you back on track.
I was reminded that it matters what you surround yourself with! Watching the news for example is not exactly going to help you feel better about yourself, or anything else for that matter. What you need instead is encouragement and positivity, from family and friends or music or videos or books or courses etc.
I had let myself be sucked into negativity, played the game of stick-in-the-mud. I started to complain and to blame, all the while losing vital life force energy. It easily becomes a downward spiral as you care less and less about yourself and others – I call it the state of vegetating. Everything loses its colour, nothing matters.
So, when I finally noticed what I was doing to myself and where I was going – I made a decision. The thing I love most is to feel alive! Yet here I was depriving myself of that very thing. I decided to take responsibility!
My first step was to watch closely what I eat as anything you put into your body will have an effect on you and can totally keep you stuck in your life. When you are in a darker place than usual a detox diet can really help. Not only will it help the body rid itself of excess toxins, it will also help the mind let go of toxic ideas, thoughts and believes, making space and creating an opening for goodness to come in.
It’s not to say that negative thoughts always need to be transformed. That’s not what I’m saying. They do have a purpose and can help us understand ourselves better. So, the BEING WITH certain dark places within you is a good one to practice. But there comes a point when your inner demons start to take over if you let them. That’s the time to go get some help if you need it.
I was reminded that I am not alone and I do have support if I only open up to it.
I stopped watching the news. I started to find something to be grateful for each and every day and I started to surround myself with positive energy, people, thoughts. I dove into audio books and books to get back to where I want to be. I spoke with friends and worked through my doubts.
And I am so glad I did! They might come up again, but I’ll be ready for the next layer! Some tiny little habitual changes during the day can lead to big results. You only need to take one step at a time, but taking that first step at all is crucial. We are here to share our gifts, not to play small!
Now this newsletter turned out much more serious than intended, but I did want to share where I am at and remind you that being your best self is just a decision away. Your gift is needed in this world! Have the courage to be yourself.
Merry Christmas to you all <3 <3 <3